i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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