I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize