i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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