You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
