You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize