Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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