So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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