I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
