I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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