my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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