508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
