I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
