tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
