i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
