Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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