O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
