All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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