And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
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She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
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I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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