Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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