well I can't set my house on fire every night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He felt like a one man threesome
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
