Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
