You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize