This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
