he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
