i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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