you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
