Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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