Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
