Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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