Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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