So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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