of course. lets lasso hookers.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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