wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
