update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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