why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize