If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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