I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
