i was born a porn star she said
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
