I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
