Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
