i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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