so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My feet surprised me
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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