why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
