My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
