Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
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The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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