he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
