Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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