...so i touched it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
