All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
