party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
