It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
