everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
