I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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