My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Randomize
