He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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